Holly Starr - Overcoming Identity Crisis | Story behind Through my Father's Eyes Song | John Giftah

One of your songs that really made a great impact for the Kingdom of God

is Through my Father's Eyes. And that song made an impact in my life

as well, Like you know, for me growing up because of a lot

of things that I went through, it really hit me in my identity,

low self esteem, and I used to find it so hard to talk to

people. You know, today, I'm just speaking because I'm like a NonStop

radio box. But back in the day, if you want to push me

to speak, I'm like, no, I don't know what to say.

I'm so scared and so desert and so shy, and I'm a full fledged

introvert. So but me too. Actually, the introverts are ones who are

very good in these things. So growing up in that kind of a fashion

hit me on my identity as well. And your song Through my Father's Size

was one of the songs that really made an impact in my life. And

back in the day, whenever I used to preach any on any topic related

to that, I used to share your song and share it around in my

university and all of that. So I was really blessed by that song.

And I'm sure anybody I talked to you and say you know I'm going to

do this session with all the star like oh the songwriter through my father's side.

So that song is the one that's made a huge impact. So I

came to know from some of the interviews that I went through about you.

You shared that this song came from a place where you yourself went through something

like an identity crisis, where you found it difficult to accept yourself. And

today, needless to say, when you look at the all the ideal aspects

that are set by society or movies or advertisements, you know, this is

what is ideal, this is what is normal, and you look at your

imperfections and you look where you are and you find it so hard to accept

yourself. So based on your journey, can you share how did you learn

to accept yourself in those moments and how did the song come out through those

moments? Yeah, definitely, so I would say that the most influential moment

for me in that process. So for those of you who don't know,

I struggled with eating disorder, and so I struggled and that was a result

of all that you just shared the media and just a negative thinking about myself,

low self esteem, and it just I just reached a breaking point one

day where I was like, I can't. I can't do this anymore.

God if I if I live this way, I'm not going to live very

long. And I in that moment, I felt like what God was teaching

me was to come back to who he said he was, you know,

like he is my healer. And so I had to choose to believe or

not, like do I believe that God is truly the healer? Like can

he healed me? And I found that even though I had grown up in

a Christian home and I knew the names of God like, I wasn't truly

believing that. And so I had to. It was like a moment where

I say, it's like where the rubber met the road. For me,

I had to choose do I actually believe this or not? And so I

chose to say yes to God and say I trust and believe that this is

who you are. And so I went on a year long journey of giving

up something in my life that meant a lot to me and praying for an

entire year every time I wanted that and as like an act of faith and

trust that God could could take me out of this season that I was in

and about two thirds of the way through that year of prayer, I started

noticing a shift in my heart and just this realization that, like, I

think God's healing me. And it wasn't like an overnight thing, but it

was like a slow progression towards just healthier thinking. And the moment that I

was mentioning earlier that that really made that shift was when I started to realize

that God made me good, He made me beautiful, and like he doesn't

make things on accident, he doesn't make things unintentionally. And so what the

world is telling me on one hand is that I'm not good enough. But

what God is saying is I've made you good. And my definition of beauty

is the definition that you need to live your life under, not under the

definition of beauty that the world is telling you. And so that's my encouragement

is that if you find yourself with low self esteem, asks yourself, why

is it because somebody's told you that you're too heavy, or that your hair

is the wrong your hair's not the way it should be, or you're too

short, or you're too tall, or whatever you name it, Like,

what's causing you that low self esteem and then bringing it to God and saying

what do you say about me? Who do you say that I am?

And then putting those things on your while at home and as reminders like you

made me beautiful, you made me good, and I have purpose and I

am needed in this world, and those types of affirmations I think are really

important and helpful. Another thing that just from a practical standpoint, is recognizing

what things in your life caused you to fall into sin. So for me,

it was like a mirror was really dangerous for me because I found myself

standing in front of a mirror for way too long in the morning, trying

to figure out if I was pretty or not, you know, like stupid

things like that. So for a long time I had to have no mirrors

in my bedroom or in my house, like the full length body mirrors.

I would even do my hair and make up without looking in the mirror in

the morning. It sounds crazy, but it's like I had to cut those

things out of my life to reorient my mind as far as what is beauty

and how will I view myself according to that. Another thing would be like

scales. I couldn't have scales in my house because I was too crazy about

how much I wait every morning, you know, like those types of things,

like you've got to know what causes you to fall so you can cut

it out of your life. The verse where Jesus talks about he's talking about

adultery, but he's saying, like, if an ie causes you to stay

and gouge it out, you know, Like I obviously that's not the specific

context that he's talking about at the time, but I think it really sheds

a light on how serious we need to take things that cause us to fall

into sin. And like, hands down, I do, like I recommend

this over and over again. That process is what helped me overcome that.

So it's a battle, but God has definitely done a huge restoration work in

my life, and I just I'm very passionate that people know that they're just

because I feel stuck doesn't mean they are stuck. There is a way out,

and it's just taking one step out of time. So after this many

years, do you still struggle with it or is it a thing in the

past for you? Yeah, it's a thing in the past mostly, I

would say, like ninety nine percent in the past. I only leave that

one percent because I'm a human, and so I can't say that I'm perfect

or got it all together. There are days where I'm like, oh,

I wish I looked like this or that. But I still have to be

proactive at picking out those weeds, you know, so they don't turn into

focone root systems in my life. So it's like you can't just ignore it.

You have to be attentive to it. But thankfully now I've got some

boundaries, Like my husband knows all about it, so he's always making sure,

like are you thinking about that? Right? But it's not as much

of a struggle by any means like it used to be. Okay, I

used to do something very similar to what you was sharing, but just the

opposite. You said you stood in front of the middle and you was looking

at your imperfections. But in order to overcome this, what I used to

do is I used to stand in front of the same middle every day,

sometimes even for two who aas three hours, and I used to decline God's

word over my life. Like that was something that really changed a lot of

things in me, Like everyday, I mean, I struggled with identity,

right, so I used to keep declaring no, I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.

I'm made in the image of God. God did not make a mistake

in creating me. I'm cute, I'm attractive, I'm cunningly fashioned. All

the verses that are, of course cute and attractive are not in the Bible.

But still I used to take all these things, and literally, I've

seen people after I started saying this, there were people who actually came to

me, you're cute. So you know, that is so good that,

you know, from a place where I struggled with identity. I wrote my

first book on identity. You know, God just turned the tables around.

Like my first book was called oh am I Everything this turned around. Like,

see, you struggled with identity and your hit song was on identity,

and that's the same thing that happened with me. So God is a god

of turnarounds. And like you said, you know, if there's anything that's

cutting you from you know, accepting yourself for you know, living the life

that God intents for you, too, I think it's best to take those

things off right, you know, it's good to pass from those things.

And even recently my brother was suggesting that I fasted from certain things that affects

me, even in my identity. For me, it's like, you know,

like you said, nineteen nine percent, you're just set free. But

sometimes you know, okay, it just dawns on you. Oh my goodness,

you overcome this and assass

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